Following...

     Just about every morning I take a few moments to share in the online devotional, www.d365.org, and this morning’s devotional got me thinking about following.
    As a pastor, one of the things that I am expected to do is lead.  The congregation looks to me as the spiritual leader, those on the upper levels of the UMC at times invite me to be a part of the leadership.  The voice inside me which holds expectations of myself calls me to be a leader.
    At home I find myself being drawn to lead.  Yes, it’s an egalitarian type of leadership where my wife and I work together to lead our family through life and spiritual matters, but at the same time there are some aspects of family leadership into which we’ve agreed that I’ll take the lead, and there are other aspects through which my wife takes the reins.
    When I reflect upon who I am and who I perceive God has shaped me to be, I realize, and have for a long time, that God wants me to be a leader.  I am reminded of this every time I get into a “teambuilding/ropes course” type of activity, where despite telling myself that I will refuse to take control and be directive, after 10 minutes of no one being decisive, like having to itch a scratch, I step in and do the very thing I said I wouldn’t do.
    Leadership is important.  In fact, leadership is necessary, and no matter who we are, we influence others.  When I think about leadership I envision a continuum upon which each one of us can be placed.  Some are natural born leaders and others avoid leading all together, but each of us influence one way or another.  The key is to recognize and name what our influence is to whom we are leading.
    This is especially important in the context of living out the faith, for when we live into who God calls us to become, we, either deliberately or inadvertently, affect the lives of those around us.  We can lead others to Christ through our words and deeds, or we can turn folks off to the Lord by the same.  We reveal or don’t reveal God’s love, depending on how we live, and we lead others down paths, which can be good or bad depending on which path we choose.
    In this season of history in the United States, we are bombarded with messages about how one person is a better leader than another, and if this person is elected we’ll be a more powerful or prosperous nation.  Depending on what color our political stripes are, we engage the message and are easily sucked into the image of the powerful leader.  And yet, Jesus reveals a model of leadership which stands our world expectations on it’s head.

    In Mark’s Gospel, but it can be found in all the Gospels, in fact the concept is foundational to the message of God in the Old and New Testaments, Jesus says, “If you want to be my follower, you must be a servant.  In the Kingdom, the first will be last, and the last will be first.”  This is quite a juxtaposition of leadership expectations, and yet when we reflect upon those leaders that have been most influential on our lives, especially our spiritual lives, Jesus’ model is most likely what we experienced in them.
    I have a friend who served in the military, and as his career continued, they saw promise in him and put him on the officer track.  As a result he headed out for a week away in intense training.  He was a part of a covenant group that met weekly, and upon his return he shared with us that God had been at work in that week away.  Specifically he spoke about the whole concept of the first being last and last first as illustrated in his experience.
    He shared with us that before he left he decided that he was simply going to participate in the event.  He did not want to take a lead in anything, and decided that he would avoid such situations if they were to arise.  He went through the week, and as he shared with us, he thought he had done well to keep his promise to himself.  He had not been called to present anything to the body, he didn’t take the lead on any aspect, and he simply experienced the event.
    On the last day they gave out awards for the trainees who showed the greatest promise and who exhibited the best leadership skills.  There were quite a few categories, but as often happens in such things they saved the category of “best leader” until last.  His name was called.
    It floored and confused him when his name was read, and so he asked the leadership of the event why he had been chosen.  They named that it was because he led by serving.  He was empowering and encouraging others behind the scenes, while also creating a group dynamic where the body excelled rather than any one person being the focus.
    For him, and for the rest of us, we gained a deeper understanding of Christ’s call for the greatest to be the servant, because through servanthood, leadership is revealed and lived into.

    As I think about the role of a leader, especially the role of being a leader to a congregation, I realize that, if I am being a good leader, if we are being the leaders Christ needs us to be, then we will never be in the front, and I don’t take that word “never” lightly.  No, if we are to lead, or even if we do not lead, and we are striving to remain faithful to God’s call, there will always be one whom we will follow.  That one is the servant of all.  The one whom the world placed last, and yet ascended to become the greatest, the One above all, in all, and through all, Jesus Christ. 

    Are you a leader?  Are you following?

Will You Play with Me?

     I believe the gifts that God shares with us through children are innumerable.  Yes, they can be a challenge, but it is sometimes in the most challenging times of my life as a parent, that I receive some of the most powerful lessons from God.
    With summer now over and we are “back to the grind,” meetings have picked up at church, and that means that I am away a bit more in the evenings.  Add this to the fact that my wife is back to work, kids are at school, and we are carting kids to and fro between band practices, lessons, and sports, and face time has diminished considerably, all in the short span of just a couple of weeks.  I’ve noticed that the stress level has risen a bit more and time together has become an even more precious commodity.
    I have teenage and pre-teen sons, so their desires for time with their father, though certainly not less important, is a bit less urgent, as compared to their soon to be 8 year old sister.  Much of the male interaction takes place in conversation or responses to the latest Youtube video, Minecraft mod, or factoid learned from the History channel, beside the interactions that take place around the dinner and homework table, however my daughter just can’t settle for conversation.  She’s more hands on, and most nights needs time with her dad.
    She used to wait until I got home and watch what I did to find out if I had a meeting, because if I have to return to work I simply sit, talk, eat, and go, but if I put my things up then head upstairs and change into my comfy clothes, I’m in for the night.  Recently however, I walk in the door and she is the first one to speak.  “Hi dad. Do you have a meeting tonight?” 
    Depending on the answer depends on how excited she will be at dinner, because if I do not have a meeting she will say to me, “Dad, can you play with me outside?”  There are times when I am exhausted and don’t take her up on the invitation, but many nights I’m jumping on the trampoline, swinging on the swing, or sitting on the deck admiring the view, listening while she talks...and talks...and talks.
    Multiple factors and layers are associated with this nightly response, but the most obvious is that she needs time with one she loves.  She seeks to be close to her father, and because of that, she is assertive enough to ask the question, “Are you home?  Will you play tonight?”  She does this because she wants time to be in relationship.  Actually, she needs time to be in relationship, and without that time, the relationship can become stagnant or even sour.
    Growing up as a Preacher’s Kid, I understand her all too well, and one of my greatest fears is that my kids will feel like they did not connect with me as deeply because of night meetings and sharing myself with the church.  I remember asking the same question to my father.  I remember when he had to go back to work and the disappointment I felt, and I remember the times he smiled and said, “I’m home tonight.”  And it was in the midst of that relationship that I was shaped and molded to become who I am today.  Those times were, and are, important.

    In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus comes across some men and invites them to follow Him.  He says, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of people.”  When I think about what God’s greatest passion and the reason Jesus was sent to the earth, it is that God wanted/wants to reconcile everyone to be in relationship with God.  God calls out time and time again to everyone, “Follow me, and I want to show you the coolest, most amazing and fulfilling thing, my way of life, and the very intention of my creating you.”
    I think about this, and it’s as if Jesus said to those disciples, “Will you play with me?”  Will you share the joy?  Will you walk on the journey?  Will you be in relationship with me, because if you will, it will be a blast, but to be in relationship means investment of time, love, and life.

    Every day I hear my daughter ask questions that invite me to be in closer relationship with her, but every day God asks the same question to us inviting us to be in closer relationship with God.  And quite honestly, it’s a question that we need to be asking each other whenever we can, “Will you play with me?”  Because when we ask that question, it’s not just us asking it and building relationship with one another, but undergirding it all is God asking the question and building our relationships, and even transforming us through relationship, to be the people God dreams and hopes we will be.

Challenge: This week ask someone, “Will you play with me?” More importantly, ask God, “Will you play with ME?”

The Teenage Years

    Yesterday my oldest turned 13.  It’s hard to believe that I am the parent of a teenager.  Luckily for us, he has not hit that usual state of teenage rebellion and independence, but I’m sure it’s coming.
    As we returned home from his birthday dinner out and sharing with family, I found myself reflecting upon my 13th birthday.  I still remember it.  I don’t remember the gifts I received, but I do have vague memories of the dinner together and a sense that this was a big deal.  I remember my parents and friends talking about it as if it was a new chapter in life.
    Who knows whether the feelings were felt that day, but I do remember entering “teenage-dom” with a sense of excitement mixed with dread and fear.  I didn’t know what to expect nor what everyone was talking about with teenagers being different and evolving (should I say ‘rebelling’?), but I do remember having a sense that I was changing...and with the changes in me, it felt like the world was going to be changing.
    Though I haven’t talked it out with my son, I wonder if he is, or will be, feeling the same kinds of things.  Maybe we who have been through it make a bigger deal about it than it is, and adolescence is different for everyone, but the changes are real.  They are palpable, and at times they are scary, for the familiar becomes unfamiliar, that upon which we can rely seems to not be as reliable, and the paradigm that we knew of as ‘life’ shifts under our feet.
    Physical changes come which lead to questions, sensitivities, and confusion.  Emotional changes occur which keep us, and everyone around us, wondering where “that response” came from and/or what the next response will be.  Psychological changes come, and we begin to think different.  Our perceptions shift, and the world can close in or expand at the blink of an eye.  Spiritual changes occur, and we begin to understand that the faith of our fathers and mothers is theirs.  At some point, we’ll have to grapple with what that faith means to us and whether we will embrace it.

    The main characters in the book of Exodus are God, Moses, and the people of Israel.  Egypt plays a bit part, but the action is really focused on the other three.  The story starts with Moses being sent down the river, but God saves him and actually prepares him for his later life, when he becomes the great leader Israel needs.
    Moses is called by God in a drastic way, and God says, “I need you to lead my people out of slavery.”  The reality of such a call was pretty overwhelming for Moses.  It meant returning to a land where he was wanted for murder.  It meant telling the most powerful person on the earth to simply free his slave labor.  It meant allowing the course of his life to be drastically changed.
    Moses did follow, and after a series of actions on God’s part, the people of Israel did get out of Egypt.  But on the other side of the Red Sea through which they escaped, they had a long road ahead of them – 40 years to be exact.  Along that road there were times when they listened to God and Moses, and there were times when they didn’t.  Often Moses would hear them say, “Well at least we had the necessities of life when we were back in Egypt.  Let’s just turn around.”  Always, Moses would say, “We must press ahead, for God has great things in store.  We just have to push through the struggles and changes to God’s gift in front of us.”
    In God’s time, they did push through, and though they didn’t always follow, though they fell and at other times were faithful, the lesson of the wilderness remained.  Change is hard, but when they pushed through the change and trusted in God, they ended up in the place they were supposed to be.
    As I think of and pray for my kids, especially my now adolescent, I can’t help but think of Moses and the Israelites and the lesson they teach us all.  There will be changes, and it will not always be easy, but when we trust in God and follow, God makes a way for us to end up where we need to be.
    As I think of these things, I also think of the church and the people of faith.  There are some churches and some people who are spiritually infants, some who are kids, some who are adolescents, and some who are grown adults in the faith, and at each stage of the spiritual life we go through a shift, a change, and it scares the hell out of us.  We don’t want to move to the next level because it’s unknown.  We fear what we do not know, and yet if we push through, trust God and trust one another, God can take any church or any person to the place where they need to be.
    As I think of these things, I am reminded of situations within me and around me where transformation is happening in wonderful and amazing ways, and I see (within and around) the desire to keep control or keep the status quo, which though it may give us the illusion of comfort, really only keeps at bay what is needed for us to get to the place God needs me/us to be.
    This life thing, or should I say “faith thing”, is not always easy.  It is filled with times of standing on shifting sand as well setting our feet on solid ground.  It is a mix of living from who we have been to who we need to become.  It is a struggle at times, but it is also an amazing journey, and the way we navigate that most effectively, the way we truly live, is to push through the chaos, ask the questions and sit with the silence, reflect upon the discomfort but then trust in God and one another to take us to the place we need to be.
    When WE do...God ALWAYS does.


Where in your life do things seem to be shifting?  How are you responding?  Are you trying to maintain control?  What might you do to relinquish control and give it over to God?

Listening to Promptings

    My five year old daughter LOVES her Godfather.  She calls him “Mister Bwyan,” but he has been known as her babysitter (he’d babysit for us to give Teresa and me a night out), her fellow bubble blower and chaser, her chief story reader, the best friend and manipulator of Tevye (a puppet), and her center of attention when he is in the room.  Since the snow came, these past three days he has been the one with whom she shares her news.

    Now Mister Bwyan lives four hours away, but that doesn’t stop my daughter from connecting with her, and connect she has.  When she comes in from playing in the snow she looks at us and says, “Let’s call Mister Bwyan.”  At first we picked up the phone and hit speed dial, but now she walks over, picks up the cell, opens it and holds it up for us to push the button.  Then she proceeds to give him the update and share whatever is on her mind.
    She’ll share what she’s been doing, what we’ve been doing, and of course, anything that relates to the snow.  We went sledding, “Let’s call Mister Bwyan.”  She built a snow man, “Let’s call Mister Bwyan.”  Oh, and by the way, Mister Bwyan was MY friend first, and I rarely get a chance to talk before she says, “See ya.  Bye,” then slams the phone shut and runs off to play some more.
    It’s been endearing to watch and pleasing to my wife and me, and at least for me, it has made me pause.  After all, what she is doing is living in relationship.  She freely allows herself to go with where the relationship will take her, so when she feels a prompting to talk to Mister Bwyan, she picks up the phone and talks.  Once she’s said her peace or heard her word of encouragement from him (I’d not know since I’m not privy to their conversations), she moves on to the next thing...until the next prompting.

    This is such a busy time for so many people.  We’re busy shopping or wrapping or going to parties.  We’re so busy in fact that it can be easy to charge ahead and neglect to listen for the promptings of our hearts and minds.  We can have so much to do that we don’t stop to make that call or share that news, both of which are important for the teller and the listener.
    I know Anna gets a lot out of those calls, but I know that her godfather does as well.  Heck, we get a lot out of them, seeing it from this end.

    In watching my daughter so freely respond to her promptings, it has spurred me to try and be more intentional in following my promptings.  Promptings to call a friend, loved one, or parishioner who comes to mind.  Promptings to write a note or share a story.  Promptings to help the neighbor in need and even look for opportunities to serve.  However, the biggest reminder for me is the prompting to check in with God.
    I want to be more like Anna.  I want to freely check in with God.  Far less than I’d like to think I do, I don’t take the time to simply call on God and share my day, relate my thoughts, or share my joy.  I’d imagine, if I did it more, God would be pleased, I would be blessed, and others might even see in me the kinds of things my daughter has taught me over the last few days – the importance of listening to promptings and responding.

How can we be more open to listen and respond?  Are we willing to follow through with whatever we hear?