Why Do We Give?

    Next week my daughter will turn 7, and tonight we will have a small birthday party for her.  Over the last month or so we’ve been thinking about and asking her to think about what she might want for her birthday, and as those thoughts have percolated we’ve been able to obtain some things which we hope will bring her joy.  As we’ve thought about what gift we might get her, I have found myself thinking on a deeper level about the whole concept of gift-giving, and as I have the question has kept coming to me, “Why do we give?”
    The answer to that question can be many and varied.  Some give simply because there is an expectation to do so.  It is the norm to give a birthday gift or to send a card when something major happens in someone’s life, and so folks follow the norm.  Some give because they like to make others feel good.  When we receive a gift it does feel good, especially if it’s something we like and can actually use, and when the giver sees that kind of satisfaction they receive a blessing for making the other happy.  And yet, there is a deeper answer which we often avoid or neglect to remember, and that is, we were made to give.
    For my oldest son’s 8th birthday we had a party for him and a few of his friends, but before the party Caleb decided that he really didn’t need any more toys.  Through the church and in school he had caught wind of a population of kids, however, who did have needs, and this was a population of children in the community whose mothers were being hidden because their significant others/spouses had been abusive.  Having heard that there were kids there who had had to leave their homes in the middle of the night and were unable to take any of their things with them,  on the invitation he asked that they bring toys for the kids of the Battered Women’s Shelter.

    The party was grand, and we did all the things one does at an 8 year old’s birthday party.  We played games, had a piñata, ate cake and ice cream, and Caleb opened the gifts.  Only when he opened the gifts, at least for me, there seemed to be a deeper meaning to the gift-giving and receiving.  When he opened the gifts he, and all of us, paused to think about how excited the unknown recipient would be to play with the action figure or game, and as we did the answer to the question “Why do we give?,” came to the fore.  We were reminded of the purpose of gift-giving in the first place.

    The whole concept of giving begins for us at the very beginning of the Bible in Genesis.  There is nothing, but out of that nothingness God created everything.  Out of chaos, God brought order, and the reason God did unfolds quickly.  God creates all the stuff that we know of as the world, and it is all good.  But that goodness had a focus and a purpose, and that was that God desired to be in relationship.  God wanted to give life, and so God created humankind in God’s own image.
    As the story unfolds we discover that this God of ours loves to give.  God gives love through covenants with Noah, Abraham, and David.  God gives life to children and saves lives of prophets and kings.  And ultimately, God gives everything in Jesus, who came to live, love, teach, die, and be raised again so all might live and give as God does.

    In a world where we are easily enticed to hold on, white-knuckled, clutching what we have with all our might, but when we learn to live lives with open hands and open hearts, always ready to give, we learn that in giving, we are truly living.  We learn that our purpose is to live outward and give as we feel led.  We learn that, in being created in the image of God, we have instilled within us an innate need to give, and the irony is that, until we allow that need to be a driving force in our living, we’ll never truly live.
    We listen to the news and look around at our society, and we see and experience less than life.  There is joblessness and despair.  There are struggles and losses.  There is a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, and much of this comes from the resistance to truly live...the resistance to be givers.
    In the Church, in politics, in the midst of wars and Wall Street protests, in our communities and in our homes, much of what we wrestle with comes down to an unwillingness to see the bigger picture or allow that voice inside of us to be heard or allow our hearts to be stirred.  For if we look for the bigger picture or listen to that voice or follow our hearts, we might just be moved to give up a few things. At first that may seem difficult, and yet if we do and trust in those promptings, what we give up can become the very things that weigh us down.
    Why do we give? 
    Better yet, why don’t we give more?....

What is holding you back from being a person who gives with the heart of a giving God?

A Most Meaningful Birthday gift

    Today is my 43rd birthday.  My history with birthdays is that it is a day to give thanks and  mark another year of blessing, while at the same time looking toward the year ahead, setting some goals and reflecting upon who I am and where I am.  In terms of gifts, that’s always nice, but that’s not something I expect or need.  In a nutshell birthdays are not a big deal for me (good or bad), but they do mark an opportunity to remember and give thanks.
    This birthday I received a special, unexpected gift.  Though it was not a gift given to me in the more traditional sense, it was a gift that revealed the power of love invested by many into my son.
    When it comes to school fund raising, my oldest son is a wheeler and dealer.  Fund raising companies use “prizes” to motivate and form child salespeople, and for my son, this is the great motivator.  So much so that through one of the sales earlier this year, he received about a dozen rubber duck key chains, which he proudly displayed on a lanyard!  Who’d have known that rubber ducks could be so motivational?
    In this last round of sales, Caleb ended up being top seller for his grade level.  As top seller he received some prizes.  Last night he shared with me that his most prized reward is a miniature toilet which one can fill with water, then handed to a parent or friend.  Upon opening the lid, the toilet squirts water at the innocent victim.  A lot of laughs for him.  I better warn him not to play this joke on his mother...
    The other thing he received was a cash reward.  Now my kids are sticklers for money. Their wallets are bulging from allowances and gifts, and every few months my wife and I go into their rooms and transfer funds into their accounts rather than let the money stay there.  But Caleb did not save this money, instead he gave it to me.
    Now before you go thinking that I was touched by a $13.00 cash gift from my son and wondering if I was off my rocker, I need to share with you that every communion Sunday we receive funds for what we call the “pastor’s discretionary fund.”  It is money given above and beyond regular offerings to subsidize our mission program and help those in the local community with food and electricity. 
    Picture this.  I was sitting with my wife catching up on the day, when Caleb walks in and says, “Oh dad, can you put this into the pastor’s discretionary fund?”  I responded, “Sure,” and he left the room, leaving me behind reflecting upon the example he set for me.  After he left I looked at my wife, and she said, “He wanted to give during the last communion but forgot.  That’s money he earned from his sales.”
    That was last night, but as I brought that money in this morning and gave it to my secretary for safe keeping, I realized that that was one of the best gifts I could have received for my birthday.  It was not given to me or even in my name.  It was not a tangible gift, but a gift of love’s expression.  Most powerfully, it was a gift that revealed how God has and is working in Caleb’s life.

    Though it is hard to believe, Caleb is going through Confirmation right now.  That is, he is learning about what it means to be a member of the Church, and that learning will culminate in him deciding if he wants to be a member of the Church.  As he goes through this process there are many who are and will model their faith and share themselves with him, but what I see in this act of kindness is that many have already done this.
    Part of his willingness to share comes from us and our families, and part of it, I believe, comes simply from the heart God has placed within him, but I also see this blessing as the result of Caleb growing up in churches and among people who witnessed what it means to be a Christ follower.  Time after time he has seen examples of faithful giving, and he has learned that, when we give, we are blessed as well.

    In his second letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul writes about what it means to give after the example of God.  He says, “Whoever sow sparingly will reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.  Each should give what is decided in the heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, but God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9: 6-7)
    It’s interesting how such a passage is received, because for many, when one begins to talk about giving in the church, they immediately shut down or close their hearts and ears, and yet Paul is speaking about more than just giving money.  Paul is actually talking less about a way of giving but mostly about a way of living.  Paul is telling them, and us, that this is the way to truly live, for when we live as those who give, we receive far more than we share.

    As I receive this gift for my birthday, it has become a reminder to me of my need to be a cheerful giver.  That, as I enter this new year, when the reluctance comes and I want to hold on and hoard, I can remember Caleb’s example and respond by God’s grace and by Christ’s example.  I am reminded that indeed, God wants me to receive the fullness of life, and that gift is given to me, when I am freed to give to others.


How “cheerful” are you in your giving?  What kind of life is God calling you to live (or should I say "give")?