Waiting Without Even Realizing It

   Most mornings when I get into the office, I spend some time with God behind closed doors, with candles and incense burning.  It is the thing that keeps me grounded and focused for ministry.  And almost every day I spend at least part of that time with God through the online devotional: www.d365.org .

    We entered the season of Advent on Sunday, which is a time when we prepare ourselves for the coming of the Christ child at Christmas.  It is marked as a season of contemplation, reflection, watching, waiting, and preparation, and it is intended to keep us focused on the real meaning of the season, rather than get caught up in the hustle and bustle around us.  Like Lent, it is also a time when we invite God into our hearts in order to be changed, and this is done in many ways, but most specifically through devotions and meditation.
    During the seasons of Lent and Advent, d365 changes format, and for Advent the title and focus is “Following the Star” (http://www.d365.org/followingthestar/ ).  It has seasonal music and a wonderful graphic of the wise men and the star in the sky, and it is one of my favorite ways to start my day during Advent.
    That being said, when I came in this morning I went onto the site, not thinking about any changes, and to my surprise up popped the “Following the Star” site rather than the usual “D365" site.  I had been so busy I'd forgotten.  It was a wonderful gift, but then as quickly as the smile came on my face I realized, “I’d forgotten all about this change.”  I’d not forgotten about Advent, because I have quickly read through some devotionals, but I’d forgotten about this particular blessing.
    I immediately found myself discouraged and frustrated.  “How could I have forgotten this?  It’s one of my favorite season of the year, and these devotions are always great!”  I couldn’t believe that, during this season where we are invited to slow down and focus, that I could forget this.  But then I heard a voice inside tell me to think back through the week.  I did.
    I didn’t hook in on Tuesday because I was at breakfast with some colleagues, sharing in important discussion then made visits to parishioners.  Wednesday morning I had a breakfast to thank and honor a great servant of the church and share in fellowship, then Thursday, yesterday, I was preparing for staff meeting, which included putting together a meaningful devotion to share.
    I then began to think through the other parts of the week and remembered conversations shared with staff and parishioners.  I remembered the opportunities to share deep discussion in counseling, and I remembered the joy of doing the work to prepare for Sunday.  As I thought of these things, I found myself realizing that, though I may not have entered this season as I usually do, God has given me time and opportunities this week to experience the waiting in a different way.
    I’ve had more time in the car, which means I’ve been doing a bit more thinking/reflecting.  The connections I have made with people have been significant, and as I look back over the sharing, I took away far more than I put into the conversations.  And despite all that is going on around me, there is a peace and trust that has settled.
    When God brought forward these things, the smile returned, and I realized again the point of the season.  The point is not to connect with God on our terms but to meet God where God wants to meet us.  It may not be as it’s always been, and what has happened in the past may not be what the future holds, but where God is is where we need to be, and where we are God meet us, if we just open up and look for God.  Basically, God gave me an Advent reminder, and that is that God's been with me all along, even if I didn't notice.

    The daily lectionary reading for today is Matthew 9: 27-31, and it is the story of two blind men following Jesus (which in itself is an interesting image), and they cry out for Jesus to heal them.  Jesus asks them, “Do you believe I can?,” to which they reply affirmatively.  Jesus touched their eyes, and they could see.  He tells them not to tell anyone about it, but they went out and told everyone.
    As I read this story this morning and of my lack of remembering that the web site had switched for Advent, I thought of how easy it is for us to be blinded by our own expectations, the way things have always been done, or even just life, then beat ourselves up over it.  And yet, that’s not the point.  The point is to remember to stop, then look, follow, and believe.  At least they cried out to Jesus for help.  I was simply awakened out of the mundane aspects of life and Jesus helped me.  
    And yet, isn’t it into the mundane, everyday situations that Jesus comes? Isn’t it in the unexpected that our blindness and need is revealed? Isn’t it in the places where we are simply chugging along that God finds a way to stop us, sometimes inviting us to reconnect but at other times simply to reveal that He’s been there all along?  At Christmas, doesn't God send the Son into a world that is simply moving along with no expectation for change?

    Many people don’t take Advent all that seriously.  After all, it’s so easy to simply let the world’s fierce pace and capitalism’s pull draw us in.  And yet there is a reason the Church invites us to keep a Holy Advent.  Well, there are actually lots of reasons, but the one that strikes me today is that maybe this is a time when God desires to simply connect with us, just so we can hear God say, “I’ve been here all along...”

When was the last time you stepped away to simply listen for God?  Has God stopped you in your tracks?  Where is God with you on the journey to the creche?